Women are in pain every month of their fertile years. The loss of their virginity is very often painful. And when they are pregnant, and finally free from menstruation, they face the most essential right-of-passage of the feminine, giving birth, which is the most painful experience of being a woman.
These are all biological causes creating a connection between pain and femininity, but there are other social causes. Women are smaller and physically much weaker than men; they have been dominated by men for ages.
This connection between physical pain, being dominated and femininity must have permeated into the genes and souls of women living today. Quoting Oscar Wilde: “I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters all the same.” Since femininity and masculinity define each other, if femininity is masochistic, masculinity is sadistic (e.g. the vast majority of porn is about men using and dominating women). Which finally brings me to the point of this post:
A man must hurt the woman he loves.
This should be done with love, but must be done nonetheless. Your woman needs to be dominated and feel pain in order to truly fulfill her own sexuality. The problematic part here is to do it AND NOT be abusive or violent. Dominating and hurting a woman is a lover quality, not a provider quality, (actually, a provider would do the opposite and act to protect his woman from hurt) and you must find a balance in this contradiction between being lover and provider.