A Deceleration of Defection

My journey into becoming a thinking man began almost ten years ago. This journey was initially inspired by an angst to fulfill sexual desires. I wanted to understand in order to achieve a goal. I began this journey as a ‘good’ hopeless romantic man with awkward and ineffective interactions with women. I ended a bad man without any romanticism who easily attracts young women. I did achieved the goal I wanted, but the process changed who I am. As I dismantled the lies I dismantled my old self. Today I see society, morality and sexual relations just as interactions between genes and memes. I see emotions as the tools of the genes. I have no illusions that love, family or tribalism are more than that. While it is easy to agree with these facts on the surface, understanding the full implications of these facts is much darker.

I was not the only one changing. Society was changing too and destroyed things my old self cared most about. Young me used to care greatly about masculine institutions (e.g. army) and family. Both lost most of their meaning today. Our times today are times of social atomization, ending of social institutions, degradation of honor and glorification of weakness. The exact opposite of masculinity and family.

The more I look the more I understand that I have nearly nothing in common with the people around me. There is nothing in modern culture to believe in. There is nothing in modern culture that I am a part of. There is no ground to stand on anymore and when there is no ground to stand on we must learn to fly. We must defect from the sinking ground and allow ourselves to be completely different from the people around us.

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4 Responses to A Deceleration of Defection

  1. Ominous. I can relate to the cold logic that is actionable truth. I would not despair over adopting the lifestyle of vermin as tools of the trade. You have a trade: proto-patriarchy. I don’t think we get to do the flying. We will prepare others if not ourselves to till the soil that will inevitably be refreshed and ripe for a new tree of liberty.

  2. El Bastardo says:

    Too true, very much the same man as you.

    However, in darkest night, see the opportunity before the dawn. Adjust your sight to see in the darkness, but don’t lose sight of the horizon. What once was, can and will be again.

    Darkness is not the evil itself. The light came first, but the darkness still serves a purpose. It temporarily shields those who seek evil, but ultimately gives way to a new day. They get their brief time, and are gone forever.

    Don’t give in. It is not worth it. I too tried to discover what I thought I was missing, and it cost me. Think twice on doing anything stupid. A hundred if you must.

  3. Agro says:

    You were a good man Dicipres. There was nothing wrong with the old you. You were the one that was OK, not the world around you. Your metamorphosis was the result of that silly world. Your change and that of others is the punishment that awful societies deserve. You are correct now, but you were right then too. None of this is your fault. It is all theirs. I salute and stand in solidarity with the old Dicipres as well as the new. Good day sir.

  4. Lindsey says:

    I relate to this. I too am a person of cold logic. Although I am not your desired audience, I find a lot of truth in your blog posts. Take care.

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