So, You Still Want to be a Family Man

This is probably the worst time in history to be a family man. Families also mean allot less than they used to and much of the benefits, like sex, companionship and children, can be obtained without marriage. Divorce is common, with rates of about 50%, and even the reported rate of marital satisfaction (for the 50% which did not divorced) has dropped compared with the past [1].

As I mention repeatedly in the blog, the bonds between men and women are getting weaker and weaker.

Feminism hurt women chances to form a strong bond with a dominant man, which is a necessary part for sustaining sexual attraction within women. Individualism allowed both men and women to abandon their vows and cheat or leave without regret and being judged, thus hurting the trust between men and women. The sexual revolution and socially encouraged sexual promiscuity reduced the emotional value of sex, which was used in the past as a basic block for creating a strong bond between a man and a woman [1,2,8].

There are groups in our society in which the state induced socially weakening of men, rampant sexual promiscuity [2] and lack of faithfulness lead marriage to all but disappear [3]. Replaced by family court imposed financial arrangements and fatherless children. There are groups in our society with feral boys who do not know what a real functioning father is. Groups in which the family man does not exist anymore.

On the other hand, there are also groups in our society that still have strong marriages, with low divorce rates, and strong bonds between men and women. For those who live in these groups marriage may be worth the risks. With all the possible emotional pain and financial loss, there are still allot of women which are worth it and can add allot of value and happiness to your life.

Today, if you want to follow this route you need to improve this deal as much as possible by having a strong inner game, by understanding women’s sexuality (and especially the darker sides of it), by having honest expectations from women and by choosing your woman very carefully.

Looking at correlations between divorce rates and marriage quality and various other parameters suggest the following guidelines to increase the probability of a happy and stable marriage

1. Choose a woman with low number of sexual partners [2,8] (BTW, evidence also show that you also should preferably have a low count).
2. Be educated and marry an educated woman [4] (However, be as, or more, educated and intelligent. Your wife should look up to you.)
3. Earn more than she does (“For every $5000 extra a woman earns over her partner, their risk of divorce goes up by 5%.” see [6] and [7], another evidence that feminism is a sham and that women sexually only want strong dominant men, not equal partners.)
4. You should have a good lover/provider balance, be a ‘loving leader’ to your wife (see https://dicipres.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/a-crude-model/).
5. Do not let the fear of divorce (and family courts) reduce your power within the marriage.
6. Marry a thin wife and have higher status than she have. This will satisfy the female no. 1 sexual demand of a high status man and your masculine no. 1 sexual demand of fertile sexy woman [5].

These are not easy demands, and there are probably many more, which also suggest the following interesting thought: today it is very hard to be a family man with and sustain a loving family and a strong marriage. Today, if you have enough status to be a strong family man, you probably also have enough status to be a player with a soft harem. This is a major shift from what was the case in the past where only the highest status men could be “players” and most regular men could easily lead a family. Today some man can do both and some cannot do either.

References
1. http://family.jrank.org/pages/1094/Marital-Quality-Trends-in-Reported-Marital-Happiness.html
2. http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html
3. http://newsone.com/nation/newsonestaff2/report-72-percent-of-african-american-babies-born-to-unwed-mothers/
4. http://www.demographic-research.org/volumes/vol10/5/10-5.pdf
5. http://news.discovery.com/human/thinner-wife-happier-marriage-110725.html
6. http://onlinedatingpost.com/archives/2010/02/sextistics-your-sex-stats/
7. http://www.hookingupsmart.com/
8. http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/03/sexual-history-divorce-risk-ii.html

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4 Responses to So, You Still Want to be a Family Man

  1. Pingback: Can an illegal immigrant go to family court? | Green Card Immigration Lawyer

  2. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Week of March 18, 2012

  3. Franklin says:

    You missed the most important groups that make marriage stable, strongly patriarchal religions. The divorce rate of Amish, Mennonites, and Hasidic Jews is very low. Even slightly more mainstream groups like Orthodox Christians and Orthodox Jews have low divorce rates. Women are strongly influenced by their environment, so any man who wants a stable marriage should join a patriarchal religion and take his wife there every service.

  4. xsplat says:

    “Today, if you have enough status to be a strong family man, you probably also have enough status to be a player with a soft harem.”

    That’s an interesting insight I hadn’t read elsewhere.

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